theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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