Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
