oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
