i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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