Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
