She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize