i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
