She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
