We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
