so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
