I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
