mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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