why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
