We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
