sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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