Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
