Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
