Already got asked if we're dating
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
