Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
