Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
