I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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