if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
