what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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