Im at strip club and am horny
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
