Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
