Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
