matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
