i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
