Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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