I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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