I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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