what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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