so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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