Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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