I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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