You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize