cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize