the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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