I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
