i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize