I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
