We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize