He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
