Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i will never coherently bang her
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
