My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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