How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
