think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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