Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
