So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
