Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
