So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
