I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
