Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
