If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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