She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
