I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
