Nicole vs. Life
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize