how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize